English/Schwartz
Reader: ____________________________________
Task:
Check when done/ Comments!
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1) Read through the entire essay once. |
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2) Introduction
Does the engaging opening really engage you?
More than one sentence?
Lead naturally to topic?
Proper background information given?
Thesis statement: Covers entire essay?
Clearly stated in one sentence?
A claim?
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3) Body Paragraphs
Begin (at least after transition) with clear topic sentence?
Avoid plot summary?
Give a solid balance of claim, evidence, and analysis?
Unified? (all on one main idea; directly relate to thesis)
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4) Conclusion
Summary of main ideas of essay?
Not just a word-for-word repeat of the thesis statement?
Satisfactory wrapping-up of essay?
Improvements needed?
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TransitionsUnderline sentences and phrases that you think are transitions.
Used between and within paragraphs to guide reader comprehension of
argument?
Additions needed? More
sophisticated?
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Style and Conventions Edit the paper carefully (see rubric).
Appropriate tone, diction?
Sentences varied?
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Quotations
Quotations properly introduced, integrated, cited, punctuated?
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Overall
Your overall impression; constructive criticism and complements.
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ConferenceMeet and go over notes and essays. |
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Revise!
Don’t forget the most important part!!!
Go over all your revision notes and make changes to your draft to
improve it! Don’t be afraid
of making big changes or just lots of little ones!
Good writers REVISE, REVISE, REVISE!!!
Check here when YOU have completed making your own revision notes and
revising your essay. |
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English/Schwartz
Thank you
for taking the time to help your child improve his/her essay.
Expository writing is an essential skill, and revision is a key element
for success! The point of this
activity is to ensure that students get another pair of eyes to look over their
essays, and for you to offer your honest feedback on their writing.
I don’t expect you to tackle every aspect of grammar with them for this;
please just point out what jumps out at you—what you like and what needs
cleaning up! Thank you so much
again for helping them improve their writing.
Please complete the following steps for your child’s Lord of the Flies
essay:
1)
Read through the entire essay once.
2)
Go back through the essay making notes on the content, organization, as well as
editing (spelling, word choice, grammar, punctuation, style, etc.)
3)
“Grade” the essay on the provided rubric (the scoring guide on the back of
this handout). Mark on the
rubric where the essay ranks for each category in your opinion, and perhaps note
the specific areas where it has need of improvement.
4)
Discuss your notes on the essay and the rubric with your child, and encourage
them to take their notes from their peer, parent, and self feedback sessions and
now revise! Please remember, this
is their time to do their own writing, with the support provided by your very
generous feedback!
“Revision” means “seeing again” and we want students to take the time to make
big and small changes to their writing to make sure it is the best essay they
can write.
Some helpful information:
The essay assignment required students to discuss both theme and symbols in the
novel Lord of the Flies.
We focused on the writing elements of introductions and conclusions, strong
thesis statements, paragraph organization (claim/topic sentence,
evidence/quotations, and analysis) and unity, transitions, and proper
presentation/citation of quotations.
STUDENTS! Please get the signature of whatever editor you used (parent, older
sibling, older student at CCA, tutor, resource teacher, Mrs. Schwartz, etc.) to
show that you took the time to get additional feedback and to make your essay
the best it could possibly be.
Parent/Editor Signature:
I have completed the feedback/editing task for my child’s Lord of the Flies
essay.
Name: ______________________________________________________________
Signature: ___________________________________________________________ Date:
__________